Fixing your view

I think it is very possible for someone to hold a rather ‘high’ opinion about themselves. Not just possible … but easy as well. Which throws articles like these a little off balance, since a person trying to evaluate him/herself might have a wrong opinion about themselves. For example, I consider myself an ‘above average’ person (being very modest here), intellectually, as compared to the general crowd.

Now, if I’m right about that, it would explain my nature, and why I’m not good with people (since that writer is a sociologist, I’ll take it to be somewhat correct). But that would also mean that I really am intelligent above other people. That makes me have an ‘air’ about myself, which is not considered good anyway. You see what I mean? There is no way I can win here.

There should be a good way to judge yourself, by yourself, without having other people tell you how you are and then you consolidating your decisions based on what you get from those opinions. You know what they say about opinions, don’t you … How can you keep a rational viewpoint about ‘yourself’?

I need to learn how to do that … honestly!

Who controls the past now, controls the future

…I just love that song!

Sometimes I want to go back to Summer school, Australia, and just relive those 2 weeks all over again. I wish to be there among all the nice people I got to know, enjoy music, the Apples (the computers, not the fruits), the weather, the gardens, the JCR, the piano … Don’t even get me started on Ace High! :(

It's strangely warm to just live in the past. I’ve said that I try to live in the moment, but the more I try to believe that, the harder it seems to get for me to do that. The urge to want to change things I did back then, to shape an alternate present and future, an alternate me, is too tempting.

Now, I’ve just about reached another stability point with the people in college, and am glad. I hope not to jinx it though. Sometimes, it is good when nothing is happening and things are just lying stagnant. You get some breathing room and time, to think about what has gone and what is going to come. To brood and repent, and plan and motivate. To work up a determination.

... I’d gladly choose to sleep over it!

Who will cry when you die?

We walk in and out of people's lives all the time. Living our meaningless/ful existences, we don't realise how and when we might affect someone else's life enough to change a part, or maybe the whole of it. Hopefully, some of these changes are for the good. There is no one who has seen nothing but misery in their lives, or someone who has only seen happiness. It's what you choose to remember about it that makes a difference.

Today, I find it not odd that there is no-one to ask me where I am, or how I am doing except my parents. Being away from home, that doesn't work out too well either. But I know that I've made situations for myself this way, and that I don't 'try' to help it. I am 'so' not a people's person, or even remotely social. Even though I step out these days sometimes, that still doesn't mean things change. It's hard to change someone's nature, especially when you don't know them. I guess 'care' is a secondary factor here...

Some of the best things that happen to you almost always have a negative beginning... or a -ve end. Either way, you're not to happy at some point of time, until you begin to see what good it did for you. But, is this the other way around? Are you happy at the beginning or end of something relatively bad? I have been happy, but wasn't by the end of something like this. I'm just generally not a happy person I guess. It's the whole thing related to introvertedness. I have a list of characteristics that psychologists attribute to that behaviour. Such cold hearted methodical machines they are ... not understanding the problem of every individual as a different and unique problem. They treat everyone as the same.

Such broken thoughts on a Saturday morning when I should be in college. Sheesh ...

Passion

Must passion be restricted to oneself? Why do people think that it's wrong to go public with what you like. They give weird reasons like 'Seeking validation', 'It's not a passion anymore', and what not. If someone likes to paint, and they start painting for people, to be known for what they do, doesn't it still remain a valid passion? A hobby?

Not everyone likes to keep stuff they like to themselves. There are many who like to show off to the world something they're proud of. I don't think (sincerely) there is anything wrong with showing (within certain limits). There are many things. Music, art ... it can even be a person. If you're proud of your friends, you can always proudly introduce them to other people.

It's not everyday that you get to meet passionate people, and I feel bad for people who don't have a drive, a motivation, a passion in their lives. They lack the soul ingredient which makes life worth living. The lack the 'thing' in their life. If you take away the less important things from them, they'll lose 70% of their being, because they 'don't' have that important thing to give them release.

Are you really over someone?

Can you really be over someone you love? Was it love in the first place if you managed to get 'over' someone? I'm quite at a crossroads at the moment. There are so many things wrong in the world which one can handle, but things like these are just not made to be handled. They cause too much pain and distress...