Love for the country?

Watching a movie today, for a good 10 minutes, I sincerely developed a love for the country. Honest! It was quite cool ... but as fast as it had developed, it disappeared as well! So nothing lost, nothing gained.

Somehow, those things look good just in cinema. As people say, it's not practical or true. Of course, I do believe that if everyone **did** make an effort, this country would truly be an amazing one. With predictions being made that the country will become the economic leader of the world by 2050 (now that's a **very** long time), it's no wonder that people aren't taking it seriously right now. We anyway don't care for anything that surpasses our life-span, how do you expect us to care for what happens 50 years from now!

There are little things that people need to understand about people in this country. And all the 'Rang De Basanti's can try as much as they want, but the truth is that the effect of those films is on the minority. The majority still doesn't care and doesn't want anything to do with **active** betterment of the country. Yes, if you ask them to do something (as in, give them a proper tangible thing to do), I'm very sure that everyone will volunteer to help without a second question, but if you expect them to take the initiative, you'll be greeted with the all too familiar question of 'What is the government we elected doing?', or 'If we do the governments job, what are they taking taxes and money from us for?'

See what the problem is Mr. Gowarikar?

No one is to blame, and everyone is a culprit. The one's who try to do good don't make any visible effect because of their number, and the one's who **can** make the change don't bother to. It's a vicious circle, and it'll take some doing to get the country up to where we envisage it to be in 2050. I hope I live long enough to see it happen, 'cuz very frankly, this is one thing that I'll **love** to see!

...better off on my own

The best part of being alone is that you want to be with someone whenever you are so. It's just a freakin' vicious circle. When you're with someone, you want to be alone, and vice versa. That's not good, by 'any' situation or time span. I am back in the rut, but this time, I think I'm in a much better position to handle things that I was 2 years back. Psychology taught me something after all :P

What makes you regret a relationship? Is it because it was untimely? Or because did it take up your precious time and you could have done something better? I for one never regret relationships. Everyone teaches you something about yourself, and you come that much closer to finding yourself. That doesn't mean go and get a boy/girlfriend every chance you get, but it does mean that you have no reason to feel bad something got over. Look at it the bright way, it helps ... trust me!

So, being at home helps heal the wounds much faster. I hope they heal completely by the time I get back to college, got lots of work to do. Things aren't as bad as they seem however, or I fear them to be. It's all good, as long as one keeps the good in mind, and his feet on the ground.

I think I still make sense!

A rekindled love for...

I find myself looking for wallpapers with nice bright colours. I recently shifted away from the OS X visual appearance to the Media Centre of Windows theme, Royal, mostly because of it's nice shiny look with bright colours of the electric blue and green. I've begun to wonder if a persons choice of colours at a particular time is decided by what his mood is like those days or at that time.

I've got a little tired of Vista's black and glassy look to everything. Sure, it was cool at first, but the simple lack of colour is a little morbid if you ask me. No light anywhere. The transparencies itself don't make much of a difference to me, it's just the black taskbar, black menus, black everything. And the fact that it keeps popping up everywhere you go looking for a new theme or look. People worship it like the best new thing to happen to design. I swear, if Illuminous turns out anything close to black, I'll write off a mail to Jobs asking him to change it. They better not try and follow Microsoft, especially since they are much better designers than Microsoft.

Well, coming back to the topic of my mood. I guess it's been elevated the past few days mostly because I'm so close to getting away from here and going home after so long. This time for a proper vacation, not a 4 day road trip. That's gotta put anyone in a good mood now, isn't it?

I suggest you take a break from all the black if you have been lately bedazzled by Vista's look. Look at all the colours out there that XP came with. The blues, the greens, throw in some oranges and yellows, and you have yourself a visual paradise! You can see my desktop here (this one is a gray and green background, I switched to it for the day time ... at nights I switch to the orange), and decide for yourself!

No chances, just fools

The more I spend everyday thinking, the more I realise how the illusion of chances and opportunities is nothing but a bunch of horsecrap. No one today has the time for mistakes. Not your colleagues, not your bosses, not your friends, not even your parents. Everytime you make a mistake, the toll rises, and before you know it, something that you had come to cherish as 'finally' something constant, is gone in a flurry of words. Psychology teaches me that interpersonal relationships are strained when one is under pressure. That's because one seeks understanding and adjustment from others without giving any in return. It is quite a simple fact, which everyone faces. Unfortunately, no-one applies the simple rule of wait and watch.

I make mistakes I know, and in the past month, I have paid twice for ones which were just at the wrong time. Both were when the other person and I were under stress, and the result was not just a weakened relationship, but a broken one. Needless to say, it always hurt to see to put the phone down, shut the chat window or just simply seeing them walk away. Especially when you know that **that** could very well be the last time.

Treat every chance as your last. Hate to make it so obvious, but don't be dumb enough to make mistakes when they'll not be tolerated. It sucks, I know, but you can't do anything about it. Unless, this is only in my case, and my life just sucks. Then you're safe and fine, so you can enjoy.

How I wish I was that dog across the street staring at cars come and go ...

The instruments of euphoria

I get a strange sense of satisfaction, relaxation, melancholy, anger, aggression, restlessness and turmoil inside me whenever I hear a gentle guitar with a steady soft but definitive drum beat. There is something about these two that when put together, brings out this amazing combination of feelings, and it feels as if nothing is important but to be able to create music or appreciate it.

I have always shared a love for music unparalleled by anyone I know. No one shares the same fire, the same passion or depth of appreciation and love for any music that I like. It's not their fault. I am aggressively possessive and passionate about almost all things that I love. Music has been the closes and longest friend. It is only natural for me to feel so strongly about it.

It's something like the feeling you get when you have a vanilla ice-cream with a layer of chocolate shell on the top. You know it's going to end sometime, and yet you continue having it with all the glee in the world. A song when played 'will' end, and the effect after the first time you listen (when you want to listen to it badly) will be slightly mellowed, but you still listen to it again and again. Well, you might not, but I sure do. It's the only constant in my life. Well, apart from computers ofcourse.

I believe love for anything shouldn't be half hearted. It's not love otherwise. I also believe that love shouldn't be taken for granted. Ever! It should be nourished and cared for like everything else in life. I unfortunately slipped on this principle sometime back, and paid heavily for it. I only hope no-one else has to face it. It's one of the most hurtful things on earth when you love a wall. Not to get a response. My music loves me. I know that. It sounds sweeter everytime I listen to it. It sounds like it's talking to 'me', and no one else when I listen. It makes me feel wanted, as if it knows my secrets, and understands me like no other thing on earth. Shares my sorrows, and makes me cry to ease the pain when it needs to. Makes me laugh when I'm happy to extend the joy. Keep me entertained when I just need to enjoy. Doesn't judge me if I don't listen to it for a day or two, or even weeks on end. Still comes back like an old friend, with the same familiarity, the same sweetness, the same healing, the same glee. Thank you Mr. Bryan Adams. Your song says it all ... 'Everything I do, I do it for you ...'

Who said we need people to be happy?